My coffee was haunted?! (not clickbait)
Oct. 15th, 2018 09:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fiveofnoneThe worst part was that Caspar should have seen it coming.
He knew that Gengar was lurking about Madrone’s lab somewhere. Adia had convinced the ghost pokémon to take residence there so he wouldn’t be forever alone, but in all the weeks following, he hadn’t seen hide nor purple hair of the prank-loving ghost.
Turns out that the little shit was biding his time.
~*~
He was helping himself to a cup of coffee in the Professor’s lab when a dark shadow loomed over him suddenly.
“GrrrrrARR!” a menacing voice snarled, and Caspar dropped his coffee cup, spilling its contents everywhere. He whirled around, tense with fear, and realized a moment too late who was responsible for this unwholesome surprise. Gengar floated in front of him, now about as scary as a doughnut as he cackled triumphantly, his hands clapping in glee.
Caspar tried his best not to glower, not wanting to give Gengar the satisfaction. Part of him wanted to wipe the smirk right off Gengar’s dumb, giant face, but then he’d be sinking to the ghost’s level. (Besides, his hands would probably phase right through.) “Congratulations,” he said instead, about as blandly as he could manage. “You startled me. Now go find someone else to pester, I have a Tepig to train… you remember her, right? The one who set your ass on fire?”
The pokémon narrowed his red eyes and stuck out his tongue before vanishing on the spot.
Caspar smiled to himself, but his victory was short-lived when, after cleaning up the spilled coffee, he discovered that the fallen mug had earned a hairline fracture, one he didn’t notice until he poured a second cup of coffee and it leaked all over his suit.
At least Gengar wouldn’t get the drop on him again.
~*~
The worst part was that the second time, Caspar really should have seen it coming.
It was a few days later, and happened just as he was pouring himself a cup of coffee. This time, Gengar popped up in front of him, and though he didn’t drop the mug in his hands, he fumbled with it badly, ensuring that another suit would have to pay a visit to the dry cleaner’s.
“What?!” he demanded, not bothering to hide his ire this time. “Was once not enough for you?”
Gengar laughed darkly before vanishing again. No, once was not enough.
In fact, neither was two, or three, or four. But by then, Gengar’s little jump scare, always by the coffee machine, had become routine, and one thing Cylons adapted to easily was a routine.
When his fifth attempt earned nothing more than an eyeroll, Gengar’s ever-present grin turned upside-down. “Gar?” he asked, pointing a stubby finger at Caspar accusingly.
“Your act is getting stale.” Caspar took a sip from his un-molested coffee, pleased at the disappointed look on his tormentor’s face.
Later, he would regret saying as much.
~*~
This time, when Caspar poured himself a cup of coffee, Gengar managed to appear from within the cup itself, shooting up like a zubat out of Hades. Caspar made an undignified sound and threw the cup on the floor, where it shattered spectacularly.
“You frakker!” He grabbed a handful of sugar packets and lobbed them at Gengar, who as predicted, turned translucent so they’d pass through unharmed. “You try that again, you little shithead, and I’ll shove you into a poké ball and shoot it straight into the goddamned sun!”
From across the lab, there was the sound of someone clearing their throat. Caspar turned to see Professor Madrone standing near the lab’s back entrance. Composed as ever, he gave the Cylon a gentle look of concern. “Is everything all right, Caspar?”
Turning back to Gengar, the source of his misery, Caspar was dismayed to find that the ghost pokémon had disappeared. It was just him, a shattered mug, and a scattering of soggy sugar packets.
“If the stress of training is getting to be too much,” Madrone continued patiently, “There are a number of books I can recommend on the subject.”
Caspar let a long, defeated sigh, and grabbed a dustbin to clean up the mess.
~*~
In the end, the Professor must have said something to Gengar, if only to preserve his dwindling mug collection, and the pranking came to a unceremonious end.
Caspar showed up for all future visits with his own cup of coffee. Just in case.
He knew that Gengar was lurking about Madrone’s lab somewhere. Adia had convinced the ghost pokémon to take residence there so he wouldn’t be forever alone, but in all the weeks following, he hadn’t seen hide nor purple hair of the prank-loving ghost.
Turns out that the little shit was biding his time.
~*~
He was helping himself to a cup of coffee in the Professor’s lab when a dark shadow loomed over him suddenly.
“GrrrrrARR!” a menacing voice snarled, and Caspar dropped his coffee cup, spilling its contents everywhere. He whirled around, tense with fear, and realized a moment too late who was responsible for this unwholesome surprise. Gengar floated in front of him, now about as scary as a doughnut as he cackled triumphantly, his hands clapping in glee.
Caspar tried his best not to glower, not wanting to give Gengar the satisfaction. Part of him wanted to wipe the smirk right off Gengar’s dumb, giant face, but then he’d be sinking to the ghost’s level. (Besides, his hands would probably phase right through.) “Congratulations,” he said instead, about as blandly as he could manage. “You startled me. Now go find someone else to pester, I have a Tepig to train… you remember her, right? The one who set your ass on fire?”
The pokémon narrowed his red eyes and stuck out his tongue before vanishing on the spot.
Caspar smiled to himself, but his victory was short-lived when, after cleaning up the spilled coffee, he discovered that the fallen mug had earned a hairline fracture, one he didn’t notice until he poured a second cup of coffee and it leaked all over his suit.
At least Gengar wouldn’t get the drop on him again.
~*~
The worst part was that the second time, Caspar really should have seen it coming.
It was a few days later, and happened just as he was pouring himself a cup of coffee. This time, Gengar popped up in front of him, and though he didn’t drop the mug in his hands, he fumbled with it badly, ensuring that another suit would have to pay a visit to the dry cleaner’s.
“What?!” he demanded, not bothering to hide his ire this time. “Was once not enough for you?”
Gengar laughed darkly before vanishing again. No, once was not enough.
In fact, neither was two, or three, or four. But by then, Gengar’s little jump scare, always by the coffee machine, had become routine, and one thing Cylons adapted to easily was a routine.
When his fifth attempt earned nothing more than an eyeroll, Gengar’s ever-present grin turned upside-down. “Gar?” he asked, pointing a stubby finger at Caspar accusingly.
“Your act is getting stale.” Caspar took a sip from his un-molested coffee, pleased at the disappointed look on his tormentor’s face.
Later, he would regret saying as much.
~*~
This time, when Caspar poured himself a cup of coffee, Gengar managed to appear from within the cup itself, shooting up like a zubat out of Hades. Caspar made an undignified sound and threw the cup on the floor, where it shattered spectacularly.
“You frakker!” He grabbed a handful of sugar packets and lobbed them at Gengar, who as predicted, turned translucent so they’d pass through unharmed. “You try that again, you little shithead, and I’ll shove you into a poké ball and shoot it straight into the goddamned sun!”
From across the lab, there was the sound of someone clearing their throat. Caspar turned to see Professor Madrone standing near the lab’s back entrance. Composed as ever, he gave the Cylon a gentle look of concern. “Is everything all right, Caspar?”
Turning back to Gengar, the source of his misery, Caspar was dismayed to find that the ghost pokémon had disappeared. It was just him, a shattered mug, and a scattering of soggy sugar packets.
“If the stress of training is getting to be too much,” Madrone continued patiently, “There are a number of books I can recommend on the subject.”
Caspar let a long, defeated sigh, and grabbed a dustbin to clean up the mess.
~*~
In the end, the Professor must have said something to Gengar, if only to preserve his dwindling mug collection, and the pranking came to a unceremonious end.
Caspar showed up for all future visits with his own cup of coffee. Just in case.
