Jan. 14th, 2019

fiveofnone: made by rogueinladysclothing on DW (looking up at nonsense)
Weeks passed, and Caspar didn’t breathe a word of Ellen’s visit to anyone.

Not even Adia. He should have — he meant to, but it was tied up too tightly in his failed proposal attempt. And hadn’t he already dumped enough emotional baggage on her anyway? His very existence as a Cylon was baggage. No, he couldn’t do it. It was easier to live with the lie of omission than to open up old wounds.

He struggled with his guilt in silence. Or was it shame? Was there even a difference between the two? Goddamn nuanced emotions. A Centurion never had to deal with this crap.

This was all Ellen’s fault. Her and the rest of the Final Five.

Why would they make the Cylons like humans? Only to limit them, as they themselves had been limited by their creators. It was ridiculous. It was exactly why the Ones turned out as they had, full of hatred and disgust towards Ellen and the others. It was the entire point of Ones’ elaborate revenge fantasy, to implant the Final Five with false memories and scatter them in the Fleet so that they could suffer along with humanity.

Caspar couldn’t blame the Ones for that. It’s why he didn’t join the rebellion. That and he didn’t want to see the rest of his model boxed up for his insubordination.

The Ones were the oldest model, both chronologically and biologically. Each model had an equal say, but it was the Ones who most often led the vote. It was pointless to question their authority.

Caspar knew because he had tried.
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Caspar Costas (née Millen)

March 2019

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