Siblings, Part Four
Jan. 28th, 2019 08:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fiveofnoneDreams have their own dominion over memories.
It’s why so many Cylons hated to dream. It left them feeling helpless, doomed to experience thoughts and feelings that they had worked so hard to ignore. It’s why the Ones almost never slept, and why the other models had their own avenues of escape.
Caspar’s dreams were never symbolic. Maybe his model was too literal, or maybe he had repressed his past so hard that his unconscious presented it to him, whole-cloth, every aspect of the memory as vivid as if he were reliving it.
His dreams almost always revolved around his time on New Caprica or later. But as the first month of the new year drew to a close, those dreams touched on memories of a past before that, closer and closer to a point in time that he had repressed so hard that he could no longer remember it.
~*~
Cylon basestar, post-Resurrection, pre-New Caprica
“Fashionably late, as always.” Four gave Caspar a smile as he entered the small, unfurnished exam room.
Caspar returned the smile. Of all the Cylon models, he got along with the Fours the best. They were calm and analytical and never talked down to the Fives. Close in age, they worked together seamlessly on most projects, the Fours handling the science while the Fives handled the tech. Deeply sarcastic to most other models, Caspar found himself being the most genuine around his slightly older brother, which is why he took the teasing comment in the spirit it was intended.
“You know me, I can’t go anywhere unless I have on the right outfit.” He slid off his magenta blazer, draping it over his arm. “What is it, another round of inoculations?”
“Just the one,” Four replied while Caspar rolled up his sleeve. “Although it’s been taking forever to distribute. It’s like pulling teeth to get you Fives in here.”
“It seems excessive,” Caspar replied. “With our ability to resurrect, it’s redundant to prevent an unlikely illness.”
“You would say that.” Four gave him a reproachful look while he prepared a syringe. “We don’t have infinite bodies at the resurrection hubs, you know.”
“I know.” Caspar frowned irritably. He didn’t like being reminded of his suicide. The Ones saw it as a failure on his part to have not have accomplished his mission, or at least not trying to take out as many humans as he could first. Maybe if he hadn’t been given all those false memories, he could have —
The prick of the needle brought him back to the conversation. “It’s an advantage we have over the humans, we should use it when necessary.”
Four nodded absently, dabbing the small spot of blood on Caspar’s arm with a bit of gauze until it dried. “So I’m told. It doesn’t help much if we’re out of resurrection range…”
He trailed off, an unusually troubled look on his face. Caspar tilted his head in mild concern. “Something bothering you, brother?”
Four looked at him, then sighed and began cleaning up his materials. “I found out another Four died on-board the Cybele. He was supposed to blow up the ship, but he airlocked himself instead. The One on board said that he had fallen in love with a human woman when he was on Gemenon, and was helping to raise her daughter.”
Something tugged at Caspar’s consciousness, but he ignored it. He was too surprised over what he had heard. “This was a Four? Are you sure One didn’t confuse him with an Eight?”
Four laughed despite his discomfort. “I think even One would be hard pressed to confuse the two of us. No, it was one of my own model. Worse yet, he knew he wasn’t in resurrection range and did it anyway.” The taller Cylon shook his head. “So senseless… throwing away his life for a human’s. I can’t imagine what he was thinking.”
Caspar felt that tug again. He busied himself with pulling down his sleeve and re-buttoning the cuff. “Humans are deeply flawed, irrational beings. Living with them, you can’t help but have your sense of normal warp a little. I’m sure it was simply an anomaly. I know your model is better than that.”
His brother smiled, his expression clearing. “Thanks,” he said sincerely. “I needed to hear that.” He pointed a finger at Caspar and wagged it teasingly. “I doubt you’ll have a reaction, but if the injection site swells or you have any other symptoms, come find me. Don’t be a martyr.”
Caspar barked out a laugh. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
~*~
He woke, tired and confused, to pale light of dawn spilling into the cabin. Why was he dreaming of that time? He had nearly forgotten all about that conversation…
If a Four falling in love was an anomaly, then what did that make him? Another anomaly?
Is that why he was so quick to resurrect?
Is that why, even now —
He shut his eyes, tuned out his thoughts, and projected himself onto the beach, but he couldn’t shake the dream.
Like it or not, his past was catching up to him.
It’s why so many Cylons hated to dream. It left them feeling helpless, doomed to experience thoughts and feelings that they had worked so hard to ignore. It’s why the Ones almost never slept, and why the other models had their own avenues of escape.
Caspar’s dreams were never symbolic. Maybe his model was too literal, or maybe he had repressed his past so hard that his unconscious presented it to him, whole-cloth, every aspect of the memory as vivid as if he were reliving it.
His dreams almost always revolved around his time on New Caprica or later. But as the first month of the new year drew to a close, those dreams touched on memories of a past before that, closer and closer to a point in time that he had repressed so hard that he could no longer remember it.
~*~
Cylon basestar, post-Resurrection, pre-New Caprica
“Fashionably late, as always.” Four gave Caspar a smile as he entered the small, unfurnished exam room.
Caspar returned the smile. Of all the Cylon models, he got along with the Fours the best. They were calm and analytical and never talked down to the Fives. Close in age, they worked together seamlessly on most projects, the Fours handling the science while the Fives handled the tech. Deeply sarcastic to most other models, Caspar found himself being the most genuine around his slightly older brother, which is why he took the teasing comment in the spirit it was intended.
“You know me, I can’t go anywhere unless I have on the right outfit.” He slid off his magenta blazer, draping it over his arm. “What is it, another round of inoculations?”
“Just the one,” Four replied while Caspar rolled up his sleeve. “Although it’s been taking forever to distribute. It’s like pulling teeth to get you Fives in here.”
“It seems excessive,” Caspar replied. “With our ability to resurrect, it’s redundant to prevent an unlikely illness.”
“You would say that.” Four gave him a reproachful look while he prepared a syringe. “We don’t have infinite bodies at the resurrection hubs, you know.”
“I know.” Caspar frowned irritably. He didn’t like being reminded of his suicide. The Ones saw it as a failure on his part to have not have accomplished his mission, or at least not trying to take out as many humans as he could first. Maybe if he hadn’t been given all those false memories, he could have —
The prick of the needle brought him back to the conversation. “It’s an advantage we have over the humans, we should use it when necessary.”
Four nodded absently, dabbing the small spot of blood on Caspar’s arm with a bit of gauze until it dried. “So I’m told. It doesn’t help much if we’re out of resurrection range…”
He trailed off, an unusually troubled look on his face. Caspar tilted his head in mild concern. “Something bothering you, brother?”
Four looked at him, then sighed and began cleaning up his materials. “I found out another Four died on-board the Cybele. He was supposed to blow up the ship, but he airlocked himself instead. The One on board said that he had fallen in love with a human woman when he was on Gemenon, and was helping to raise her daughter.”
Something tugged at Caspar’s consciousness, but he ignored it. He was too surprised over what he had heard. “This was a Four? Are you sure One didn’t confuse him with an Eight?”
Four laughed despite his discomfort. “I think even One would be hard pressed to confuse the two of us. No, it was one of my own model. Worse yet, he knew he wasn’t in resurrection range and did it anyway.” The taller Cylon shook his head. “So senseless… throwing away his life for a human’s. I can’t imagine what he was thinking.”
Caspar felt that tug again. He busied himself with pulling down his sleeve and re-buttoning the cuff. “Humans are deeply flawed, irrational beings. Living with them, you can’t help but have your sense of normal warp a little. I’m sure it was simply an anomaly. I know your model is better than that.”
His brother smiled, his expression clearing. “Thanks,” he said sincerely. “I needed to hear that.” He pointed a finger at Caspar and wagged it teasingly. “I doubt you’ll have a reaction, but if the injection site swells or you have any other symptoms, come find me. Don’t be a martyr.”
Caspar barked out a laugh. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
~*~
He woke, tired and confused, to pale light of dawn spilling into the cabin. Why was he dreaming of that time? He had nearly forgotten all about that conversation…
If a Four falling in love was an anomaly, then what did that make him? Another anomaly?
Is that why he was so quick to resurrect?
Is that why, even now —
He shut his eyes, tuned out his thoughts, and projected himself onto the beach, but he couldn’t shake the dream.
Like it or not, his past was catching up to him.
