Unexpected company.
Jan. 3rd, 2019 03:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fiveofnoneIt was New Year’s Eve on Atlantis, and Caspar was going to propose.
He had originally wanted to ask on a day that didn’t already hold significance, but the symbolism was too powerful to ignore. A new year meant new beginnings. Besides, once he gave Adia the ring (at home, in private, as he knew she would want), she could show it off later to her friends at the small party Seth was throwing at his house.
It was a ring worth showing off, in his not-so-humble opinion: a slim band of shiny tungsten studded with orange sapphires and white diamonds. Tungsten because of its sleek, metallic strength. Orange sapphires because of their warmth and color. And diamonds because they were classy and expensive. The fact that it was made by a Nexus friend of theirs, Hunter, only added to the value of the ring. The tattooed artist had even infused the metal with a pulp of orange tulip petals, merging organic and inorganic flawlessly.
Caspar had that ring with him now, tucked securely in his coat pocket. As he walked home in the early twilight, he went over his plan for the evening:
Step one was to get to the cabin before Adia, which he was in the process of doing. Step two was to light some candles and give the floor a good sweep. He was going to kneel on it, so it might as well be clean.
Step three was to ask her to marry him.
Reflexively, he reached for the ring, relieved to find it in his pocket, just like it had been the dozens of times he had already checked. He sighed to himself and tried to relax. She’d say yes — of course she’d say yes — which is why he wanted this night to be perfect. She deserved it.
She deserved so much more than that.
As he approached the wooded border of their shared property, he finally pushed away his nerves and allowed himself a small smile of anticipation. He had the ring and he had a plan and he had the perfect night to ask. He was ready.
A shadow crossed his path. He turned to find a woman following him — late forties from the look of her, but with the flowing blonde hairstyle of someone trying to be younger. “Caspar,” she sighed, closing the distance between them. “Oh, look at you. So sharp.” She gave him a tentative smile. “I was hoping to find you on your way home.”
In the dim light, he recognized her. Ellen Tigh, one of the Final Five. Cylons scientists from the lost thirteenth colony who had made all the biological Cylon models, including Caspar’s.
The last person on Atlantis that he wanted to see.
“What are you doing here?” he demanded. He couldn’t hide his irritation, or the disorientation he felt in the presence of the woman who created him. He had spent over a year successfully avoiding her, why did she have to show up tonight of all nights?
Her smile faltered, even as her gaze stayed soft and kind. “I wanted to talk to you. I’m reaching out to all the models, to tell them about their origins. You didn’t answer my letters, so…”
“So you decided to follow me home? Just happened to be passing by or some bullshit like that?” He scoffed at her persistence. “I didn’t write back for a reason, it’s because I don’t give a frak about you or whatever you want to tell me to ease your guilty conscience.”
“I’m not doing this to feel better about myself,” she protested. “I’m doing this for your benefit, you and your siblings. I’m the only one left who remembers everything.”
“Bet that’s real lonely,” Caspar snapped back. “Sucks to be you. That doesn’t mean you get to play happy family with the rest of us.” He glared at her. Not down at her, because of course she was just as tall as he was. Of frakkin’ course. “Go back home to your husband, Ellen. At least you still have him. Or what’s left of him. It was my model who took his eye out, you know. He screamed for hours.”
Ellen winced, and he wasn’t above feeling some pleasure at the hurt in her eyes. But otherwise she stood her ground. “You let One leave too much of a mark on you,” she said regretfully. “The Fives I knew wouldn’t —“
“No,” Caspar interrupted hotly. “No, you don’t get to blame the Ones for this. This is on you. The War, New Caprica. All of it. You made him, so you get the blame. He wouldn’t have done any of that if not for you.”
This was a mistake. He was letting himself be drawn into an argument. He took a step back, but she pursued, stubborn and insistent. “Caspar, please! There’s so much you don’t understand. I only want to help you.”
“You can help me by getting out of here.” He meant to sound callous, but he heard his voice crack around the edges. “I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to know why you made me!”
Like this. Why would someone make him like this?
“You may not want to, but you need to,” Ellen insisted. “If not for your sake, then for your girlfriend’s. Doesn’t she deserve to know who you really are?”
The words had barely left her when he raised his arm in a vicious backhand. He caught himself at the last possible moment, scant millimeters from touching her. She hadn’t even had time to flinch.
“Leave,” he hissed through gritted teeth, “Me alone.”
In the silence that followed, she blinked first.
“I’ll go,” she said quietly, dropping her gaze. She took a step back, then another. Her expression contrite, but not cowed. “Please think about what I said, Caspar. In case you change your mind.”
And then, mercifully, she finally walked away.
Only when she disappeared into the gloom did he lower his arm, but otherwise he stood there, unmoving, his breath leaving him in shallow gasps. Time passed without him realizing, his mind nothing but white noise as he struggled to get himself under control, his whole body trembling with the effort.
“Caspar?”
It was Adia. Caspar sucked in a tight lungful of air and squinted at the small glowing lantern in her hand. Night already? He looked up, the sky a velvet blackness littered with stars.
“I thought you’d be home by now,” she called out worriedly. “You okay?”
Don’t lie to her. Don’t lie to her. Don’t lie to her.
There was a frosty chill in his eyes. Hurriedly, he wiped away the wetness, hoping the darkness would buy him some cover. Forcing a grimace onto his face, he nodded and rubbed at his side. “Yeah. Just my scar acting up. I had to rest for a little bit.”
“Oh, honey…” She stepped up to him and ran a soothing hand up and down his arm, unsuspecting of his ruse. “You’re so cold, too. I’m sorry.” A playful smile appeared on her lips. “I could kiss it and make it better?”
He chuckled through his feigned expression of discomfort. It was easier this time, he only had to ignore the nausea that came from lying to his girl. He swore he’d never do it, but just this once wouldn’t hurt. He could tell her about Ellen later. Another night.
So many lies.
She looped her arm in his, squeezing it gently. “Did you want to go home first? Or straight to Seth’s party?”
Caspar thought of the candles back at the cabin. The unswept floor. He looked into Adia’s beautiful blue eyes and knew that he couldn’t ask her like this. Not after what happened. He wasn’t ready.
“It’s late enough as it is.” He smiled at her. “Let’s go there first and ring in the new year.”
He wasn’t ready.
He had originally wanted to ask on a day that didn’t already hold significance, but the symbolism was too powerful to ignore. A new year meant new beginnings. Besides, once he gave Adia the ring (at home, in private, as he knew she would want), she could show it off later to her friends at the small party Seth was throwing at his house.
It was a ring worth showing off, in his not-so-humble opinion: a slim band of shiny tungsten studded with orange sapphires and white diamonds. Tungsten because of its sleek, metallic strength. Orange sapphires because of their warmth and color. And diamonds because they were classy and expensive. The fact that it was made by a Nexus friend of theirs, Hunter, only added to the value of the ring. The tattooed artist had even infused the metal with a pulp of orange tulip petals, merging organic and inorganic flawlessly.
Caspar had that ring with him now, tucked securely in his coat pocket. As he walked home in the early twilight, he went over his plan for the evening:
Step one was to get to the cabin before Adia, which he was in the process of doing. Step two was to light some candles and give the floor a good sweep. He was going to kneel on it, so it might as well be clean.
Step three was to ask her to marry him.
Reflexively, he reached for the ring, relieved to find it in his pocket, just like it had been the dozens of times he had already checked. He sighed to himself and tried to relax. She’d say yes — of course she’d say yes — which is why he wanted this night to be perfect. She deserved it.
She deserved so much more than that.
As he approached the wooded border of their shared property, he finally pushed away his nerves and allowed himself a small smile of anticipation. He had the ring and he had a plan and he had the perfect night to ask. He was ready.
A shadow crossed his path. He turned to find a woman following him — late forties from the look of her, but with the flowing blonde hairstyle of someone trying to be younger. “Caspar,” she sighed, closing the distance between them. “Oh, look at you. So sharp.” She gave him a tentative smile. “I was hoping to find you on your way home.”
In the dim light, he recognized her. Ellen Tigh, one of the Final Five. Cylons scientists from the lost thirteenth colony who had made all the biological Cylon models, including Caspar’s.
The last person on Atlantis that he wanted to see.
“What are you doing here?” he demanded. He couldn’t hide his irritation, or the disorientation he felt in the presence of the woman who created him. He had spent over a year successfully avoiding her, why did she have to show up tonight of all nights?
Her smile faltered, even as her gaze stayed soft and kind. “I wanted to talk to you. I’m reaching out to all the models, to tell them about their origins. You didn’t answer my letters, so…”
“So you decided to follow me home? Just happened to be passing by or some bullshit like that?” He scoffed at her persistence. “I didn’t write back for a reason, it’s because I don’t give a frak about you or whatever you want to tell me to ease your guilty conscience.”
“I’m not doing this to feel better about myself,” she protested. “I’m doing this for your benefit, you and your siblings. I’m the only one left who remembers everything.”
“Bet that’s real lonely,” Caspar snapped back. “Sucks to be you. That doesn’t mean you get to play happy family with the rest of us.” He glared at her. Not down at her, because of course she was just as tall as he was. Of frakkin’ course. “Go back home to your husband, Ellen. At least you still have him. Or what’s left of him. It was my model who took his eye out, you know. He screamed for hours.”
Ellen winced, and he wasn’t above feeling some pleasure at the hurt in her eyes. But otherwise she stood her ground. “You let One leave too much of a mark on you,” she said regretfully. “The Fives I knew wouldn’t —“
“No,” Caspar interrupted hotly. “No, you don’t get to blame the Ones for this. This is on you. The War, New Caprica. All of it. You made him, so you get the blame. He wouldn’t have done any of that if not for you.”
This was a mistake. He was letting himself be drawn into an argument. He took a step back, but she pursued, stubborn and insistent. “Caspar, please! There’s so much you don’t understand. I only want to help you.”
“You can help me by getting out of here.” He meant to sound callous, but he heard his voice crack around the edges. “I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to know why you made me!”
Like this. Why would someone make him like this?
“You may not want to, but you need to,” Ellen insisted. “If not for your sake, then for your girlfriend’s. Doesn’t she deserve to know who you really are?”
The words had barely left her when he raised his arm in a vicious backhand. He caught himself at the last possible moment, scant millimeters from touching her. She hadn’t even had time to flinch.
“Leave,” he hissed through gritted teeth, “Me alone.”
In the silence that followed, she blinked first.
“I’ll go,” she said quietly, dropping her gaze. She took a step back, then another. Her expression contrite, but not cowed. “Please think about what I said, Caspar. In case you change your mind.”
And then, mercifully, she finally walked away.
Only when she disappeared into the gloom did he lower his arm, but otherwise he stood there, unmoving, his breath leaving him in shallow gasps. Time passed without him realizing, his mind nothing but white noise as he struggled to get himself under control, his whole body trembling with the effort.
“Caspar?”
It was Adia. Caspar sucked in a tight lungful of air and squinted at the small glowing lantern in her hand. Night already? He looked up, the sky a velvet blackness littered with stars.
“I thought you’d be home by now,” she called out worriedly. “You okay?”
Don’t lie to her. Don’t lie to her. Don’t lie to her.
There was a frosty chill in his eyes. Hurriedly, he wiped away the wetness, hoping the darkness would buy him some cover. Forcing a grimace onto his face, he nodded and rubbed at his side. “Yeah. Just my scar acting up. I had to rest for a little bit.”
“Oh, honey…” She stepped up to him and ran a soothing hand up and down his arm, unsuspecting of his ruse. “You’re so cold, too. I’m sorry.” A playful smile appeared on her lips. “I could kiss it and make it better?”
He chuckled through his feigned expression of discomfort. It was easier this time, he only had to ignore the nausea that came from lying to his girl. He swore he’d never do it, but just this once wouldn’t hurt. He could tell her about Ellen later. Another night.
So many lies.
She looped her arm in his, squeezing it gently. “Did you want to go home first? Or straight to Seth’s party?”
Caspar thought of the candles back at the cabin. The unswept floor. He looked into Adia’s beautiful blue eyes and knew that he couldn’t ask her like this. Not after what happened. He wasn’t ready.
“It’s late enough as it is.” He smiled at her. “Let’s go there first and ring in the new year.”
He wasn’t ready.
